Bye

In the interest of keeping up with all the kool kids I have mooooooved:

2plus2makes5 has a new home <- CLICK HERE for.. well.. more nothing.

Kids These Days

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was Going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that...

I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music,you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up . we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that Stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The 30 Something crowd!

Headin' on down to Dish

And THE FUCKING MORON'S of the week award goes to...

The town of Clark in Texas has renamed itself permenantly to Dish in order to receive free satellite television for life from - you guessed it - the Dish Corporation.

[Texas town renames itself 'Dish' to get free TV]

The Tide Has Turned

Ok, so I've got about 5 big blog entries started that I have never published, and most of them are past their sell by date so I've decided to approach this whole blog thing from a different perspective now...

Henceforth I shall concentrate on more entries but shorter content.
(insert sound of no one giving a shit here)

So this is the start of the new format.

-------------------- (<- line illustrates this change very effectively)

iPod Lit

Apple are offering free engraving on any iPod's bought at the moment so I did a little search on interesting quotes and came across this, a [list of quotes rejected by Apple]

Corporate responsibility wins the day again. Yawn.

My own favourite isn't included... but I'll be heading down to the local jewelers to get mine "branded."

Music Stolen Seperately

SPAMologue

The personal touch to [the Ivory Coast money scam] ... misspellings included!!

The United States of Eurovision

A handy little tool, a conversation starter and a reason to go to war with your neighbours all rolled up into one... it's the [Visited Countries Map Maker]

It's a very interesting tool. To see the tiny little bit of red my years of travelling have provided me with fills me with both sadness for having seen so little and excitement because there is so much more to see. But the real reason to visit this page is of course to witness the dregs of society (and I use the term "society" very loosly) throw jibes at one another about great their line on a piece of paper named a map is compared to that other line over there that barely deserves to be a line.

"team up germany, italy and austria, since their basically the same"

"Israel should be under Europe as it has been competing in the Eurovision Song Contest since somewhere in the 1970's."

"Also any American who suggests Palestine should not be on the map because "lacks most basic aspects of a government and is not capable to conduct its affairs" need only refer to America's recent foreign policy to get yourself struck off the map!"

... and every tenth comment or so goes like this...

" You forgot England and Scotland!!!"

And if that fills you with pain, then this should at least make you laugh... or maybe choke:
[Top Negative Comments About The Best of the Best on Amazon]

Me Love Company

For those of you who know me personally you know how I left the Corporate World over 2 years ago and how I would find it near impossible to return to that environment. I'm just not built for it. The allegiance to some perceived entity. Which makes things like this all the more hilarious:

[Steve Ballmer loves Microsoft]