Getting Lost

Have any of you been watching the new "hot" show [Lost]? I'm not a big TV person but this show really is captivating. Not least because it doesn't treat its audience like a 14 year old with the attention span of a goldfish. It actually has subtitles!!! That might seem meaningless to us over here on this side of the Atlantic but for a prime-time show coming from the US that is a major risk.

Sad I know.

BUT the fact remains, the show is a big success so the people sitting out there behind the idiot boxes must be a bit smarter than the TV execs give them credit for (now aint that a surprise.) And just imagine that the major theme of the show is the place of religion and science in relation to one another. Shocking I'm telling you. I'm really enjoying it but I have a feeling of foreboding hanging over me every time I watch a new episode that they are going to trip and fall flat on their faces. Fingers crossed then.

Anyway I was reading a little piece about how Lost [could be the Twin Peaks of our time] and they had a link to this little advert for Lost in the UK:

[David LaChapelle takes on Lost]

Now I normally can't stand David LaChappelle (not to be confused with comedy genius [David Chappelle].) His new Romeo & Juliet H&M ad campaign sums him up perfectly for me. Everything just feels so fake and forced; a plea to be accepted by the above mentioned 14 year old MTV goldfish.

BUT, I have to say I thought that ad was great. Maybe it's just Portishead!

If you haven't seen the show you might not get all the little references but any chance to listen to Beth 'The Voice' Gibbons should be worth a click!

Finders Looters

(click on the above photo to get a clearer view of the captions)

I don't know if you have been aware of the controversy surrounding the above photos. The issue has focused on the race issue. A black person described as "looting" and the white couple "finding" groceries.

The photos are from the same scene just with different subjects. Now it might be the fact that I am removed from racial issues but as I see it, the problem here is of a more fundamental nature. Namely, here are people (coloured or not - more on that below) who have been effectively abandoned by their government, their city is in ruins and they are scavanging for food... and they are described as LOOTING?

How could anyone view that scene and think the person is doing anything but surviving? It's not as if she is floating a 42" plasma widescreen tv atop the water.

Now, you could say (as many have) that there exists a direct correlation between the black-person and the word looting, however I personally think it simply comes down to a coincidence and the problem lies more in our view of possesions. The reporter who used the word "looting" is obviously an asshole who has never endured anything harsher than a light frost on his SUV's windscreen in the morning.

Is this the paradise of George Bush's [ownership society]?

Dear white fellah,
There's a coupla tings you orta no.
Firstly
Wen I am born, I'm black.
Wen I grow up, I'm black.
Wen I get sick, I'm black.
Wen I'm cold, I'm black.
Wen I go out in the sun, I'm black.
And wen I get scared, I'm black.
And wen I die, yes, I'm still black.
But you white fellah ....
Wen you born, you pink.
Wen you grow up, you white.
Wen you get sick, you green
Wen you cold, you go blue.
Wen you go out in the sun, you go red.
And wen you get scared, you yellah.
And wen you die, you purple
And you call me coloured !!

Christianity Strikes Again

Aren't people just assholes when it comes down to it?

[Schoolgirl expelled for having gay parents!]

Five Blades of Nirvana

First off, news reaches mine ears of the next latest and greatest must have product: [Gillette's Fusion Razor]. It has... not three... not even four... but five, yes that's FIVE blades. All truth be told, it actually has six blades - there's an extra one on the back for trimming whatever monstrosity of hair you decide to leave hanging off your face.

I mean seriously, where is this going to end? Showers that spit razor blades at you? Muppets.

Now, time for some entertainment. Being old and wise I have taken it upon my self to trawl through the trash of movies spit out like half developed foetuses by Hollywood to find a couple of fully formed and just possibly half intelligent movies for your amusement:

* [Thumbsucker] - Vince Vaughn's line in the bathroom is just classic!
* [Everything is Illuminated] - No meat, what is wrong with you?
* [Jarhead] - Donnie Darko goes to war.
* [Elizabethtown] - Okay, the trailer is a little corny but I've heard great things and well, Kirsten is in it after all.
* [A Scanner Darkly] - Richard Linklater directing a Philip K. Dick story. Animated in the same style as [Waking Life] and with a deadly cast... I can't wait!!

Oh and as for the Nirvana thing in the title. I went to see the [Kaiser Chiefs] last night. They were good but the band before them blew everyone away. They were [Nine Black Alps] and had so obviously borrowed so much from Nirvana. But they still sounded great and I think it is only a testament to them that they have the balls to borrow so much from Nirvana and still have their own sound that works so well. Watch this space!

iMorons

I think my iPod is great, handy and nicely designed, with Apple's tendency towards simplicity and ease-of-use very evident in the interface. I can take all my favourite music with me with space enough left to have a handy portable hard drive with me.

While the new Motorola ROKR iTunes enabled phone was a pretty big dissapointment, I was very impressed by the new iPod Nano. While everybody else is playing catch-up with the standard iPod Apple have moved on already to high capactiy flash-memory based players which are [thinner than a pencil].

I am even taking a plunge into the deep end and purchasing my first Apple computer: [17" Powerbook]. Not just for asthetic reasons; with the opening of my new business [2+2=5 Designs] it is actually for practical reasons. Plus I've been using Apple's OSX Tiger a lot lately and well, as far as I am concerned the hype is true, it is an excellent operating system, light years ahead of Micro$oft. You can officially call me an Apple convert. I'm only going to keep my Windows destop for games and as a workhorse for converting video.

Which is why this annoys me even more: [Me and My iPod].

Fucking twits! Taking pictures of themselves with their iPods. If ever the term "get a life" had a purpose it is in this case. I mean fuck it, it's easy to "hate" Apple (or the iPod specifically) because it has become so ubiquitous and the yuppies think it defines them, but these twits are making it harder for me to like what is at the end of the day a great little device.

These days, when I see those white earbuds I even feel like ripping them off peoples' heads and ramming them down their throats because people use them like a marker of their hipness. From my own perspective I've even become a little ashamed of my iPod to the extent that I try to hide it as much as I can when using it.

BUT it is a great product, so credit where credit is due, even if the cult surrounding it is populated by mindless automatons.

And whatever about the pictures, I had to laugh at this guys iPod tattoo... [Music Sold (?) Seperately]

Drugs are baaaaad, ummm-kaaay?

There's been a lot of talk lately in the newspapers I read about how evil drinking is, specifically those of us who go out and get *gasp* drunk. This is down mainly to the fact that the UK is to introduce 24hour licensing laws and the media's perceived notion that bedlam is about to be introduced as a consequence. I'm generally in favour of the opening up of licensing laws but that's a different conversation. I'm more interested right now in the demonising of drinking in general.

I was delighted therefore to read yesterday a great article espousing the positive aspects of drinking, particularly the ending quote:

Drunkenness is an attribute of those who do not appreciate what they are consuming, not of those who do.

Now, I appreciate beer. I live in Germany and it has thought me well. The only thing I can drink now when I go home is Guinness because the beers there are utter sewerage. Bud is the biggest selling beer for the love of the care bears.

BUT, while I generally agree with the above quote it got me thinking, and you know what: I like to get drunk. It's fun. I forget about my troubles a bit, I think I love everyone more and by some quirk of physics I can play kicker/foosball/whatever-you-call-it much much better.

Now I'm not condoning the kind of twits derided in detail by The Streets. In fact the opening up of said laws might be beneficial in that those people might drink so much they'll be too drunk to start fights because you glanced for a microsecond at their girlfriend, and even more benefically to society they might pass out and choke on their own vomit. Ahhh utopia. We can only dream.

And while I'm at it, I smoke the eveeeeeiiiilllll weed too world. There you go.

"[...] I'm a criminal,
In the eyes of society I need to be in jail,
For the choice of herbs I inhale."

Yep, and you know what, that's even more fun most of the time. Have you ever watched Zoolander after a smoke? Citizen Kane doesn't touch it.

So, I was delighted to read today it can even help me loose weight. Which is handy because I've grown a tyre around my waist lately because of the munchies. Got to get me some of that Pakastani herb.

A Retraction?

Ok, maybe I jumped the gun on that posting yesterday. Maybe you can't rent out your kids.

But here's one that is definitely real: Rent a Midget

And one that is definitely meant as satire: Rent a Negro
Or should I say, a website where they actually know how to do satire.

If that website isn't real (and I have contacted snopes.com about it) then it's just a bad joke. Not a tasteless joke mind you, I love bad taste but it's just not done very well. Unless of course if the point of it is simply to fool people. Well then it's even more stupid and pointless. I await the judgement of the almighty snopes.com

Anyway, on to something totally unrelated, really crazy and well, just damn cool: a wooden iPod!